


Denial

by deslea



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-04-07
Updated: 2002-04-07
Packaged: 2019-06-19 08:26:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15506268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deslea/pseuds/deslea
Summary: I don't love her.  She's just a warm body in the night.





	Denial

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Glass Onion](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Glass_Onion), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Glass Onion’s collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/glassonion/profile).

Denial

Denial *PG13*  
Deslea R. Judd  
Copyright 2001  
DISCLAIMER: Characters not mine. Interpretation mine.  
ARCHIVE: Yes, just keep my name and headers.  
RATING: PG13, maybe a really soft R. Sexual allusions and one naughty word.  
SPOILERS/TIMEFRAME: None really, set after Requiem.  
CATEGORY/KEYWORDS: Vignette, Krycek/Marita.  
SUMMARY: I don't love her. She's just a warm body in the night.  
MORE FIC: <http://fiction.deslea.com>  
FEEDBACK: Love the stuff. 

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Just a warm body in the night.

That's all she is. Warmth and flesh and life in a neat controllable package. Warm mouth, soft and firm in all the right places at all the right times. Hands that grip where a man wants to be gripped and stroke where he wants to be stroked.

Just a warm body in the night.

She's a good fuck, Marita. Damn good lay. The best. I've said it to her, too. It either turns her on or pisses her off, depending on whether we're in or out of bed at the time.

That's probably why I haven't killed her.

I should, of course. Should've done it long ago. But every time I think about it, I think about her body cradled against mine, and I can't quite imagine what it would be like to make that body go cold and limp and lifeless. Can't quite imagine what the point of hearing or seeing might be, if I couldn't hear or see her. So I haven't done it.

Damn fool, Alex. Damn fool. No lay is worth that much risk.

I will do it.

I will.

One of these times.

But first, bed. I haven't bedded her enough. Haven't gotten her out of my system enough. Seems I need her more, rather than less, every time. Is that the definition of love? Growing instead of diminishing? God, I hope not.

I don't love her.

I don't.

It isn't that I can't. I'm not like Mulder, who'll commit to the truth but not to a woman. I'm not afraid of love. But that's not for her.

It isn't.

She's moving in her sleep. Murmurs my name a lot when she's asleep. I wonder if they're dreams -or nightmares. I hope they're dreams.

I can smell her hair. So soft. I wish she wouldn't dye it. With the yellow blonde, she's ordinary. Just another pretty woman. But the silver - God, with that silver underneath, she's like a high priestess. I love the silver. I love the silver more than just about anything.

Just a warm body in the night.

Warm body with silver hair and green quartz eyes and ivory skin. Warm body, hot breath on my flesh, breathing my name like an invocation.

Invocation. Jesus Christ, I'm a romance novelist. See the ruthless assassin write women's guff for kicks. Invocation. God save us.

I don't love her.

I don't.

She's just a warm body in the night.

END

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Who says denial is only a fan pursuit? ;-) Mulderists, be still your wounded hearts; that line was a projection on Alex's part, nothing more.

* * *


End file.
